Октобрь 4, 2002

Привиет Фсе (Hi All),

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. I have cable. If you recall, I wasn’t sure if I actually ordered cable, but two days ago, two men showed up, and wired up my little apartment. An hour later, I was watching Hurricane Lili spinning around in the Gulf (by the way, Ellen if you’re reading this, when I saw the hurricane, all I could think about was your little pooch Lilly, chasing her tail, a white and black spinning blur). I now have CNN international, an all-English channel, along with the Discover Channel, which is usually in English. I also have MTV in Russian, with videos a tad more risqué than in the states. It looks like the same videos from US bands, but I think they edit them in the states. Last night, I caught “Beavis and Butthead” dubbed over in Russian. Try to imagine someone imitating the voice of Beavis, and the laugh they both do, it’s hilarious. I also have something called Eurosport News, which is an English language sports channel, but covers mostly European sports. They do show scores and highlights from the States, so I’m glad I was sitting down when I saw the Aneheim Angels in the baseball playoffs. Also saw the Yanks again pulled out a late game comeback, the magic still remains!

So I guess the hurricane fizzled at last minute. I heard an interesting theory that an earlier storm churned up the gulf, bringing the cold water to the surface, which took away the energy for Lili. Weathermen, always an answer…

This week I met a couple who is in town adopting a Kazakhstani girl. Some of you have considered this route, so this might be interesting. They are from Chicago, and adopted this girl from a local orphanage that my friend Megan works at part-time. The guy told me they flew into Almaty, were taken to a hotel room, and asked to immediately fork over $10K to a guy with no identification, while some other guy was at the door, keeping watch outside, supposedly for robbers. They said it was a pretty traumatic experience, but now they have this little girl, and are headed back tomorrow. The girl speaks Russian, but they don’t, so they were fascinated as I asked the girl who her mommy is, and she pointed to the woman.

I had an interesting experience this week. I went to the hospital with Megan to visit a local friend. This guy, by the way, is convinced I’m CIA. For those that are monitoring my mail, I am not, nor have ever been associated with, any US intelligence gathering organizations (although I’m a big Tom Clancy fan). Anyway, he was in the hospital for kidney stones, normally a minor thing in the states (except for the pain), right? Not here. The hospital shocked me. Think of, hmm, Penn Station NY (before the renovation), and you’ll have an idea of the cleanliness. Wait, strike that, try Penn Station Newark. We had to bring our own slippers to change into, had to leave our coats at the front desk. We went up to the room, climbing seven floors in a dark stairwell, to his room. In the stairwells were patients smoking. His room reminded me of a prison cell, two rusty old beds, that’s all. His roommate, an older guy, had this jar beside his bed, half filled with some dark liquid, with a red rubber tube in it, coming from what I assume is his, well, you know. The jar and tube were dirty and old, like something you would find in the corner of your garage. We assumed this was in fact a catheter, and Megan told me there’s a good chance he made it himself at home, and brought it with him. Our friend with the kidney stones left for Moscow yesterday, to get a real doctor to check him out. Luckily, he has the resources to do that. Oh, he’s also headed for Chechnya, where he’s from, because a woman there has a special drink she makes which dissolves the stones. If you recall, Chechnya is currently a war zone. When his doctor here heard of the drink, he asked our friend to bring back the recipe, so they could patent it and get rich. There’s your medical professional.

Anyway, we visited for a little bit, then left, but it was after visiting hours. We got down to the front desk (after feeling our way down seven flights), to find it locked up. As luck would have it, our coats were also locked in there. So we wandered the halls to the emergency room, explaining that we needed our coats, but no one would help. Experience here has shown that when we ask for something outside of someone’s job, the first answer is always “no”, but if we hang around awhile, act helpless and foreign, eventually things work out. In this case, we stood around in the emergency room, until finally the doctor there magically appeared with our coats. While waiting, I saw a CAT wander out of a room and saunter down the hall. I asked Megan “did I just see that?”. She laughed and said welcome to a former Soviet Republic.

I have to say, every day I am here, I thank the Lord above that I was born in the U.S of A. We take so much for granted, like the fact that the hospital is clean, sterile and well-run. Sure doctors are sometimes suspect in their skills or prognoses, but relatively speaking, we have the best deal going, by a LONG shot. I cannot wait to get back to the states to debate with my good friend Greg on the virtues of a free market economy. He’ll rant about the arrest of the Enron CFO, and I’ll counter with a comment on homemade catheters and cats in the emergency room.

One other interesting story, yesterday was “Teachers’ Day” in Kaz. This is a cool holiday, where you have a big show in the school, with singing, dancing, little skits, etc. I was in a skit where I played a wolf, and didn’t understand anything occurring, so it was comical. I also sang a bit in Russian, drove the crowd wild. Anyway, the day ends with a dinner for the teachers, followed by some drinking and dancing. So its after dinner, and a few shots (ok, many shots) of vodka, I’m sitting at the end of the table with the school director, her husband, and a couple other teachers. There’s about ten teachers sitting at the table, all female (I’m the only male teacher). The school teacher, who doesn’t speak English, leans to me and asks “Andrew, kakoya devooshka tee hochesh?” Translated “Andrew, which girl do you want?” I ask her to repeat, which she does, with an evil smile. I’m floored, I don’t know how to respond, so I make a joke, asking which ones aren’t married, and the conversation moves away. I have to say, though, a couple are pretty attractive, but with no ability to carry a conversation, it’s hopeless…

Ok, gotta go, my neighbor is here to help me tweak the phone jack, I’m trying to hook up my laptop and phone to the same outlet. My Kingdom for a Radio Shack!

Later,

Andrew

PS - Packages have arrived, the latest from the lovely Carla Borsoi, who sent a very, well, eclectic array of products (some I cannot mention), but I can say that there’s a cab driver 15,000 miles from America who tasted his first Oreo Mint cookie, a life-altering event!

PPS – Are we going to war with Iraq? We haven’t finished the last war! If George Bush messes up my Peace Corps thing, he’ll hear from me!