April 6, 2003

 

My Fellow Americans,

 

Haha, gotcha.  No this isn’t George Bush (if it was I’m sure my spell-check would be working overtime). 

 

So here we are at war, and I’m in the Peace Corps, which is sort of bizarre.  It feels strange watching this Iraq war from the sidelines anyway, brings me back to 1991.  I guess the more things change, the more things stay the same, eh?

 

I get CNN International here, so I’m keeping a good eye on things.  The problem here is that the garbage that comes out of the Iraqi information minister (did I really hear him call us “retards”?) is readily consumed by people here, so being an American over here isn’t the greatest thing these days.  We’ve had some anti-American incidents, all minor (except my friend in Astana’s assault, but its still unclear why that happened).  One guy in a town nearby had some vandalism done, and PC pulled him out immediately.    Interestingly, my radio show has suddenly been stopped, with a pretty weak reason (they want me to pay to do it).  I’m just keeping a low profile until the war ends.

 

And if we don’t find a HUMUNGUS amount of weapons of mass destruction, I’m switching parties (mark my words Mike!).

 

I do think that information minister of Iraq is a riot though.  I half expected a “I’ll be here all week” from him after his last press conference.  Love that guy.

 

So switching gears, I’ve had an eventful couple of weeks.  I flew (no, this is not a typo) down to a city called Shymkent, in south Kazakhstan, for a Kazakh New Year festival.  Shymkent is traditional Kazakh, with a strong Uzbek population.  It was interesting seeing a different culture, and their food was spectacular.  Although the weekend was rainy, they did hold there traditional game of “sheep polo” (my term). 

 

A brief description:

 

There are two teams of guys on horses, about 6-7 to a team.  The field is the size of a soccer field, with goals at both ends.  The goals consist of two above-ground pits, encircled by old tires.  So the purpose of the game, apparently, is to throw said sheep into the pit.  This sheep is headless of course, and gutless, so its basically a floppy carcass of wool (make ya hungry?).  They have what I called a “jump sheep” (that got a chuckle down there), then one guy has the sheep and runs to the goal.  The opponents do everything they can to stop him, while his own guys try to clear the way for him.  This of course results in a sort of rugby scrum, with the guy with the sheep somewhere in the middle fighting his way forward.  This is where it gets cool.  There’s one other guy, a neutral guy, with a huge stick, who pushes his horse into the middle of the pack, and proceeds to beat the crap out of everyone.  This serves to break up the scrum so play can continue. 

 

I’ve decided that if there is reincarnation, my first choice is to be that guy.  My last is to be the sheep.

 

The second coolest thing was when a horse fell and its rider fell off, the horse would get up and BOLT off the field and down the road or into the woods, and everyone would chase after it.  Apparently the horses aren’t as motivated to play as the men.

 

The score was 0-0 when we left. 

 

I also wanted to mention that the sheep is eaten at the end, and is supposed to be pretty tasty.  When you think of it, it’s a hell of a tenderization process.  I’m considering asking my family to take up Turkey Football when I get home, see if we get the same result. 

 

Might want to unfreeze the Butterball first though.

 

After the festival we took a short 18 hour bus ride to the All Volunteer conference in a small town called Taldy Korgan (about 4 hours north of Almaty).  The conference was held at a Sanitorium outside of town, at the foothills of the mountains.  It was great to see the folks I went to training with last summer, as well as to meet all the other volunteers.  We spent five days there, going to workshops, getting some language training, and basically socializing (ok it was a boozing boondoggle).  The capper was a talent show, where interestingly, some people played guitars (that’s a Peace Corps slam for you non-PC types).  I helped write a song and sang it with three other guys.  Oh and I also won first prize in a contest to imitate fellow volunteers, but it was way too easy (I did my friend Mary, in her strongest Texas accented Russian).

 

So after the conference we headed back north on the train, my friend Becky with me for a weeklong visit.  She spent the week here and left Friday, which brings me to this weekend.  It was fun showing off “my town” to another volunteer.   She was sort of freaked by being in what has been termed “The Most Polluted City in the World”, but hey, I’ve been here for almost eight months and I’m per per per perfectly fine.

 

Yesterday I hosted the other local volunteers for a spaghetti dinner, and we blew a fuse in the middle of it (from the stove).  I guess I never used more than one burner in the past.  Anyway, it was interesting finding the fuse box and pulling the switches (which shed some crumbs of corrosion as we pushed them down, I’m sure that was probably ok).  After we did that, my meter started spinning like a top, making a whirring noise.  I just closed the door and walked away.  The next utility bill should be interesting.

 

I’m sorry but I have to comment one last time on this Iraqi Information Minister, he’s a RIOT:

 

Reporter:  “The coalition is saying they have occupied Saddam International Airport with no opposition, can you comment on this?”

 

Info Minister:  “This is not correct.  They were there, but we crushed them, killed hundreds and hundreds because they are, they are retarded.  Now we have the airport.  The losers have been pushed out.”

 

Reporter:  “But sir, US soldiers have been spotted in central Baghdad taking pictures of the Presidential Palace”

 

Info Minister:  “This is not correct, they aren’t even here.  In fact, they aren’t even in the Middle East.  Did you see the movie “Wag the Dog”?

 

(knock at the door)

 

US Army Officer:  “Hello.”

 

Info Minister:  “Oh.  Umm.  Hello, can I help you?”

I’m ASTOUNDED at the level of fiction that can come out of a government-level official.  All jokes about politicians aside, I’m floored that someone can spew such fiction.  Although, with the CNN reporters “embedded” I’m sure we’re not getting the most objective news.

 

I’m proud that we haven’t retorted with “we’re rubber, you’re glue, what you say bounces off of us, sticks to you”.

 

Ok enough of that stuff.  I just saw on the TV that a group of Russian diplomats leaving Baghdad were attacked, they’re not sure who did it.  That’s just wonderful for us up here. 

 

I started the final quarter of teaching this week, it’s a short one.  I can’t believe I’m about to wrap up a year of teaching, this time is FLYING.  I’m finished May 25, then have the summer of just working at Pragma.  I’m planning a hiking trip over the mountains to Uzbekistan in August, and of course am heading back to the States in July for my sister Kathy’s wedding.  Outside of that, I guess I’ll just enjoy the summer, probably do a bit of local traveling.  The good thing about being in the former Soviet Union is that you really don’t have to visit other cities, because everyone looks the same.  I’m also going to be helping Peace Corps on their development of their Economic Development Program, which is being revamped. 

 

Other than that, I’m just plodding along.  Russian lessons are proceeding, work at Pragma continues, and my social life is outstanding, by the way.  Oh and, its is getting warmer, so the running along the Irtysh River will begin again this week. 

 

I wanted to say big ole “Sa-schleeva” to my friend Kristen, who had to end service early and is now back in Detroit.  I’m bummed that I lost the closest volunteer to my site, I’m gonna miss the weekends you came into town, Ust won’t be the same! 

 

I also want to thank my brother Mike and company for their care package, nice stuff as always (looove the bitesize oreos).  I have another package at the PO, I’m hoping it’s the long-awaited one from my friend Mike, I’ll find out Tuesday. 

 

I’m signing off now, John Madden’s coming on to help explain how the 7th Cavalry managed to flank the Republican Guard (“see, whatcha got here is a tank column, moving this way, and this guy, he’s an artillery piece, he’s lobbing these bombs here see…”)

 

Strange world we live in, ain’t it?

 

Paka,

Andrew